i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
