There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
barbara walters just said penis...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
