The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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