It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
