I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
