Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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