There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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