Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
