the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
