the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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