You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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