Whats the glycemic index on semen?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
