His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
