i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
