i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
