508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
