im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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