So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
