i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
