nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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