I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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