Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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