Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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