On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
