I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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