i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
