Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
