Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
