I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
