and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
