we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
