Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
