i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
