So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
