he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
