their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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