the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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