he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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