I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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