There was a lot of him and a little penis
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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