Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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