what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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