Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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