I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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