I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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