Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
