Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wish there were birth control emojis
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
