I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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