i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
