Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
