Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
