The maid of honor just puked.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
