Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
its not stalking. its research.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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