Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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