ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
