East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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