nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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