sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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