Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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