used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
